Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A Low Waist Melodrama....

{This was written when I was in Engineering College... I related to ads then too...}

Just as I turned to descend from the highest floor in the e-department of MSRIT, I found myself a couple of steps behind a rather shapely creature of the female kind. As the flight of stairs in these high regions of Ramaiah College are rather steep, and for no other reason did my mind invent the feeling of vertigo and made me want to trip down a couple of steps. But unluckily, I managed to hold my balance.

The shapely creature did not notice this and by now had reached the bottom of this flight of steps. It was early afternoon, during one of the rather erratic, deserted and lengthy lunch breaks, not very uncommon in our illustrious e-department. This left the empty, descending flight of stairs all for us. The shapely creature was a typical kind inhabiting the vast ruins of Ramaiah land, and characteristically trudged down the steps in a rather slow, ambling descent. The voluptuous anatomical references swaying in a forced motion ahead provided me ample time for coming back to being just a couple of steps behind.

Now descending down to lower altitudes, my eyes shifted to lower altitudes too. Even by Ramaiah standards, the jeans’ on the swaying anatomical reference was alarming. Especially because just the previous day, I had seen the advertisement of this particular kind of new “low cut jeans”, that had been unleashed on the market. For the uninitialized, I strongly recommend reading of the supplement of the Times of India, which carry these ads regularly.

Unluckily, I again managed to control my new found sense of vertigo as we reached the third flight of steps. The shapely creature took notice for the first time of my existence, but continued trudging along uninterested. Not that what was in front of me was quite as attractive as the ad, but it got me thinking, whether the shapely creature wanted to emulate the other shapely creatures in the ad. I wondered whether shapely creature fancied herself to be a Neha Dhupia or a Vidisha Pavate (both models very visible in the ad).

Just about then my train of thoughts was interrupted by the sudden appearance of two male characters, as different as the sun and the moon, from another flight of steps opposite to us. As people who daily visit the vast ruins of Ramaiah land will know, flights of stairs are everywhere leading them everywhere else and into vast catacombs and caves with statues of garland holding female gargoyles.

One of them was another typicality of MSRIT. The largely built, carrying “copies” in there hands and with the cult unshaven look emulating none other than the oh-so-famous Hrithik Roshan. The other was just as unique. Effeminate, wearing round glasses and carrying a large school bag, which sagged from the weight of the heavy library book inside. The former took immediate notice of the shapely creature who was now running her hands through her colored hair, but the latter quickened his pace down the steps pretending to not even notice the primary subject of this melodrama. The former now was in between the shapely creature and me as we descended the final flight of steps together. The latter had taken a turn, which probably led to a laboratory with many noisy cathode ray oscilloscopes.

As I reached ground zero, our path was cut across by a bevy of female lecturers moving in the direction of the distant oasis called canteen to probably get some idly-sambhar and coffee. Their male counterparts where nowhere around and I guessed they were in one of the caves as usual engulfed in heavy nicotine smoke. One of them heading to the oasis did notice me and from her eyes, I could see that she was cursing my very existence.

By now with the constraints of the narrow flight of stairs no longer curtailing our movement, the little entourage had dispersed. Hrithik Roshan headed towards the catacombs of Ramaiah hostel and Neha Dhupia towards the e-department notice board. I predictably moved in the same direction, but even before I could get back to closer proximity, she swayed away towards another shorter, giggly and not-so-shapely creature. As for me, sensing danger continued towards the notice board keenly looking to see what archaic message was put up.

Thus ends this lunch break melodrama which left me thinking about the weather, the war in Iraq, my new problem of vertigo and my dismal performance in my exams.

{Melodrama: In melodrama there is constructed a world of heightened emotion, stock characters and a hero who rights the disturbance to the balance of good and evil in a moral universe. (Source: Wikipedia)}

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